So two Saturdays ago I got accepted.
Commence spazzing out
…and anxiety officially setting in.
When I received the email I was so happy (and still am) but within a few moments, equal parts of fear and anxiety also came over me.
Not only did I get accepted, but I already know what I am teaching -Beginning and Intermediate English, and Composition for the third year students.
I basically got what I wanted.
But I’m still freaked out. When I got the email I started tearing up for happiness…and then started crying out of fear as the feeling of ‘what the heck did I get myself into?!?!’ came over me.
I mean, besides forcing my little brother to play school with me, I have never taught in a ‘classroom’ setting…and now I’m teaching 3 classes, and am having to prepare all of the curriculum (commence freak out #2).
I mean, what am I doing…do I know what I’m doing? No, not at all…but I’ll overcome it, right? I can do this!…?
I honestly don’t even know where I’m going with this post.
But I thought I should let every know that I still exist, and that I haven’t abandoned this blog…and that instead of just talking about wanting/hoping to do something…I will actually be doing it.
Crazy, I know.
So, you might be wondering (as I still am) what I am doing prepare for the classes I’ll be teaching.
Let’s just say Amazon and I have become best-buds in the past week. My wish list is freakin’ ginormous with books for myself and possibly for my future students.
So I’ll be doing a lot of reading -both books and blogs, and once winter break is here, I’ll be starting a TEFL online course. While I know many who have gone there without taking TEFL courses, I feel (that as a perfectionist) I must, to the best of my abilities, prepare as much as I can. While I know that I’ll be completely unprepared in most ways, it is very important for me to try to do what I can and it really helps the nerves.
So yeah, that’s what I’m up to -freaking out.
But I know I’ll be okay…and when I leave in six months, a whole year of the hardest personal growth I will have ever gone through (so far) will start. I am scared but have faith that somehow, this completely unqualified girl will push through and become a better person.
Isn’t that what life is all about? Becoming a better you?
I don’t know about others, but I’m looking forward to meeting the future and better Julia.
Oh, and if you have any tips for me, you’re more than welcome to comment or message me…I would really appreciate it!